But this must be God's will....

God's will is not always abundantly clear.  Some things are obviously in His will (developing in our relationship with Him, loving our children, not struggling in sin, not struggling with the fear of man).  Some things are not so clear.  Some things are surprising as well.  Some times God closes a door that was in our mind the "right" door.  For example, I was fairly confident that a job with a particular company that shall remain nameless (thanks for the hook-up, Wade!) was the job.  I was familiar with the processes, the products, a big company, etc.  Then God closed the door and I was upset for a little while.  I knew it was the right thing, especially since I specifically prayed that God would close the door if that was His will, but the rejection still stung a little bit (probably because of my pride). 

My favorite Biblical example is the Gerasene demoniac in Mark 5.  This is the guy who had a legion of demons within him, and Jesus healed him.  Of course it would be right for the former demoniac to tag along with Jesus.  It would help him to grow and develop and see how Jesus worked on a day-to-day basis.  So the man implores Jesus to come along, but Jesus says "no".  How could that be?  How could it not have been better for him to be with Jesus in the flesh?  Jesus tells him, "Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you."  And the result of his obedience: "And he went away and began to proclaim in Decapolis what great things Jesus had done for him; and everyone was amazed."  What seemed like obviously the right thing to do, ended up not being God's will.

God's will is always, always, always, always, and then always, and still always the best for us, whether we realize it or not.  This is so hard in the moment when God gives us an inkling of His will (which He often does), and in our wisdom, we think we know what's best.  I try to rationalize with God and make a case for what seems best to me, but His will is the best. 

I have a co-worker who I really have a heart for.  He is really a good guy, but that's by human standards.  I do not think he knows the Lord personally.  I am leaving Cat in two weeks and I want so much to sit him down and share my testimony and challenge him directly but feel God telling me no.  Since God's will is always the best, I must just trust God.  This is challenging, but since He's been right the last eleventy billionth times, I should have some assurance that He knows what He's doing.

Isaiah 55:1-2

"Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;  and you who have no money come, buy and eat.  Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.  Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy?  Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance."  -Isaiah 55:1-2

My thoughts....
*Why do I spend money on what is not bread?  Why do I desire stuff and gadgets and cars for pleasure?  Not always.  As of the last little while, not usually actually.  Yet, my flesh is still hanging on.  My flesh is still there.  All it takes is the possibility of a new thing (e.g. in this case, a fancy schmancy cell phone), and all of a sudden my idol factory of a heart has found what it's always desired.  How does the saying go... all men have a cell phone-shaped vacuum in their heart?  We even spend money on things and go through tremendous lengths to try to satisfy, yet it doesn't. 

*What is the Lord's plan then?  "Listen carefully, eat what is good, then delight yourself in abundance."

• LISTEN.  Listen CAREFULLY.  Wow.  That's not so easy these days.  I'm a believer in the fact that there is nothing new under the sun.  However, peace and quiet seems much less plentiful than a century ago.  Cars, trains and planes, not to mention a myriad of potential distractions to eat up the silence.  Why is it so hard to sit in my car without any music or messages or any noise (other than the creaking and groaning of my near-geriatric car)?  We are going upstream in this world and unless we work to have some silence in order to be able listen, we're going to get bombarded by a lack of silence.... Listen carefully.  What does that mean?  I don't know but it sounds like something active.  We can't listen carefully without some intentionality. 

• EAT what is GOOD.  We encounter things throughout the day, or "eat".  We have to consume things in this world, whether it's love, joy, peace, gentleness and self-control, or it's gossip, malice, anger, selfishness, lasciviousness, hate, and discord.  We just have to consume what is good.  The problem is that the gossip, malice and anger are not wrapped in an ugly, tattered box with a tag labelled "bad", and that the love, joy, and peace is not wrapped with beautiful wrapping paper and shiny bows with a "good" tag.  We must actively be discerning and listening to the Spirit.  I have not found that the Spirit typically shouts in my ear.  God's way is often clothed in uncertainty and comfort, and it's not always clear.  However, when we humble ourselves at the Lord's feet and sincerely desire His will and not our own, He makes us know one way or another.  He's a good God and is not the author of confusion.  Though the path may not be extremely well lit, when He wants us to do something, and we are humbled before Him, He lets us know.  

• Then we are to "delight ourselves in abundance."  Only after we listen carefully and only select the Lord's choices can we truly delight ourselves.  Ironically, when we choose the Lord's will for our lives, no matter how uncertain or unpleasant it may appear, it always turns out for the best.  Always, and always, and then usually always.  How He does it, I have no idea.  But somehow in this vast tapestry of the body of Christ, he makes ways to pour out His blessings and accomplish His will (check out my w's (wife's) blog on the "Bingel 500").  Then truly we can delight ourselves in abundance.  Perhaps (actually, likely) not in material abundance.  Not in the stuff of this world, but in Himself.  We can delight ourselves in Him.  And He is glad to give us Himself.  He fills us up to the point of overflow, and we can just simply delight ourselves in Him....  As a side note, I woke up dead tired this morning.  Would have loved to get some extra sleep but the Lord told me to get up and spend time with Him.  The Lord made sure I knew and I was hesitantly obedient.  But ahhhh, the refreshment of the Word.  I dove in and soaked it up.  The Lord just poured out Himself in graciousness.  He corrected me, but gently.  He told me I was wrong and showed me the right way, that only He can satisfy my heart.  So I am now still tired, but I am wholly satisfied, for free.  So I got less sleep but my spirit is awake and refreshed.  I am more awake with less sleep!  The Lord is good and gracious and compassionate.  He is good.  Thank You, Lord.  Thank You for being so gentle.

2nd Time Street Evangelizing

Went street evangelizing in Broadripple with 8 other people tonight.  Mostly with Tom Miyakawa and his son, Evan.  My thoughts....


* Humbling.  At one point, Evan and I went around passing out cards.  He and I went together because I was the "adult".  Hah.  Such irony.  He's a sophomore in high school.  I'm a sophomore parent.  You would think I would be the one to have it all together, especially since I have memorized a lot of verses and listened to a lot of sermons.  Hah.  He's a stud.  240 lbs, 6' 4'', middle linebacker with a full beard?  Not exactly.  More like 5' 6", 140 lbs, left defender on his soccer team.  Major stud.  The young man loves the Lord with all his heart.  He's mature way beyond his years.  He knows the Word.  He walks it out.  He goes out regularly to do contact evangelism, not to mention walking his faith out on a day-to-day basis.  I am envious.  Envious of his unashamed love for the Lord, his lack of fear of man, his passion to serve the Lord.  Especially his lack of fear of man.  He doesn't fear man because he loves his Lord and worships the only holy God.

* Testing.  Heard a guy talking with the barista at Starbucks about the Bible while I was talking with someone else.  I really did not want to, but the Lord prompted me to talk to him.  I went up afterward and tried to probe into his questions but he was very uninterested in talking.  Since we were up near the bar, the barista threatened to call the cops on me.  The first time in a while.  I apologized profusely and mentioned I was merely trying to encourage the man's faith.  So I left.  My spirit was troubled though.  A mingling of the fear of man and feeling like I did something wrong or against the rules.  We went back to Starbucks to warm up and again apologized to the barista and I discovered the man I was trying to talk to had some major mental disorders and has had fits of screaming obscenities and the barista was just trying to avoid that.  I then talked to the barista for about 15 minutes.  I planted some seeds.

* Learning.  I am learning a lot about sharing my faith.  Contact evangelism is not primarily aimed at drilling the gospel into everyone's soul.  As Tom Miyakawa says, "People are where they are."  He demonstrates this fact by explaining a story from a few months ago.  He chatted with a guy on the street who was selling some stuff.  Tom asked him if he ever thought about what happens when we die, he said now.  He then asked him if he ever thought about God, the man said no.  At this point, Tom realized that this guy is probably not going to commit his life to Christ at that moment.  So he just tried to plant some seeds.  The next people he went up to was a group of a few people.  Tom asked if there was anything he could pray for.  One guy said yes, that he knew he needed to pray for salvation.  Then one of his friend did the same.  People are where they are.  The primary goal of contact evangelism is to "move the peg".  That may mean ushering in someone to salvation.  That may mean getting someone to think about God.  Tom also mentioned some fact that it takes an average of 7.2 gospel presentations before someone might accept.  The average is not one, but the average is not 100. 

I also learned it's easier as you go.  While I put my full faith in the Holy Spirit to give me the words in the moment, I also need to practice.  I can't use tools that are not in my toolbox.  The Lord can supernaturally at times provide tools, but often times works through means.  There are no world renowned violin players who woke up one day and became world renowned violin players.  God certainly gifts some to be musical and some to not be, but He often works through the means.  For example, He maybe gets that world renowned violin player to meet lots of people and learn discipline and perseverance through the years and years of practice.  Not sure I'm making much sense at this hour, but my point is that the Lord will gift me in evangelizing as I practice.  He's a good Father and will guide me along the way.