About tonight in a minute, but first, a little blurb about this blog. I like to teach and explain things and tell stories. This blog is not about that. This is about my personal ramblings with God. So I may or may not share background to certain stories so things may or may not make total sense. Please bear with me.
So, I went down to Broadripple tonight. I specifically prayed that the Lord would put a burden for lost souls on my heart tonight (and forever). He helped me by showing me a simple fact. The eternality of it all. That's not a word, but that's what's in my head. The eternality of it all. That forever, the lost will be in a Christ-less, painful, lonely, dark place. Forever. This is nothing new, the Lord just emblazoned it on my heart tonight. As I passed by the front windows of bars, and saw people laughing and having a great time, my heart just sank. They are enjoying the pleasures of this world for a short season, and trading it for a painful horrible eternity! Eternity! This might be the only God moment they have for years. Totally heartbreaking.
I did have a very encouraging conversation with a 19 year old couple. They Lord just filled my mouth with words and I was able to share the whole gospel with them in a way that seemed to resonate with them. Their names were George and Emily. I came up to them as they were turning around from Noodles & Company because it had a gas leak. If it wasn't for that, I would not have been able to share the gospel with them! It astounds me how the Lord works through totally ordinary circumstances to bring about His will. If it weren't for that gas leak, they'd have been inside when I came by. Please pray for them. They were open to the things of God.
All in all for tonight, I can easily say God is so faithful. He brings about His will in our lives. My key prayer point for this year is faith. He has used going down to Broadripple to accomplish this. I had wanted to go down with others tonight, but I felt Him say to go alone. I whined and cried internally about this for a few days, fearful to go down alone. When I finally consented, He came alongside and encouraged me. He kept me safe, allowed me to continue to develop relationships with two Starbucks baristas and Mason the parking guy (who hooks me up with free parking every time!), kept me calm and allowed me to clearly articulate the gospel to a young couple who is seeking answers, increased a burden for the lost, fought back the fear of man, and let me know His sovereignty even deeper.
It brings a new meaning to true, heartfelt worship when you see difficult things. Spent some time with some inner city kids who live very rough lives today. Had a couple from our church lose a few day old baby this past week. Understanding even deeper the fact of the wide and narrow gate (that most will perish and go to hell for eternity). Seeing Psalm 106:8 clearer (we have been saved for His sake). Knowing some family members and/or friends will spend eternity in an intense, forever pain. When these things are at the front of our minds, it's harder to just sing the church songs. We must accept God's sovereignty and still praise Him even when we don't understand it all.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
3rd Time in Broadripple
Went down to Broadripple tonight alone and walked around for a while talking to people and handing out tracts. This was different than the previous two times. But God is still teaching me a lot (maybe even more so in this)...
*He is SO faithful. The Lord is so faithful. Not only by answering our prayers (prayers for boldness in sharing, for deliverance of the fear of man, for safety, for courage, for faith) but by holding on so much tighter than we do. I worry about slipping away some times, that my heart might grow cold, and I tend to get legalistic to "prevent" myself from doing so. This is foolishness. The Lord holds on to me so tight. So when the darkness closes in, I can have confidence that He's holding on to me, not vice versa.
*God is broken-hearted for the lost. It's not easy to talk to someone about their faith who thinks that you are a religious fanatic. Yet we are to put on this same view as God's. When we take a step towards that direction, He meets us there. He grows this in us.
*Persecution. Hearing snickers and having girls yell, "Thank you Jesus Christ man!" has an odd effect. The Lord gives this gift to those who are willing to embrace it. Yes, a gift. Persecution has a wonderful cleansing effect, eliminating the fear of man and steeling our devotion to Him. Per the Word, we will be blessed as well. Entering where you know it will come, that's just a little hard. It's easier to sit next to the fire and read my Bible and ask for depth of relationship with Him and greater faith.
*The blessing of the Spirit's power. What an awesome blessing we receive when as weak human vessels, the Lord uses us! He doesn't need to use us, but He does. And He pours out His power on us. It's a joy-filled experience to be used by God. "When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” (Luke 12:11-12) When we need it, the Lord pours Himself into us.
Thank You, Lord, for being so much more faithful than me. Thank You for being so much more powerful than me. Thanks for empowering Your will and for equipping the called. Thank You for being so gracious, and forgiving and gentle.
*He is SO faithful. The Lord is so faithful. Not only by answering our prayers (prayers for boldness in sharing, for deliverance of the fear of man, for safety, for courage, for faith) but by holding on so much tighter than we do. I worry about slipping away some times, that my heart might grow cold, and I tend to get legalistic to "prevent" myself from doing so. This is foolishness. The Lord holds on to me so tight. So when the darkness closes in, I can have confidence that He's holding on to me, not vice versa.
*God is broken-hearted for the lost. It's not easy to talk to someone about their faith who thinks that you are a religious fanatic. Yet we are to put on this same view as God's. When we take a step towards that direction, He meets us there. He grows this in us.
*Persecution. Hearing snickers and having girls yell, "Thank you Jesus Christ man!" has an odd effect. The Lord gives this gift to those who are willing to embrace it. Yes, a gift. Persecution has a wonderful cleansing effect, eliminating the fear of man and steeling our devotion to Him. Per the Word, we will be blessed as well. Entering where you know it will come, that's just a little hard. It's easier to sit next to the fire and read my Bible and ask for depth of relationship with Him and greater faith.
*The blessing of the Spirit's power. What an awesome blessing we receive when as weak human vessels, the Lord uses us! He doesn't need to use us, but He does. And He pours out His power on us. It's a joy-filled experience to be used by God. "When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” (Luke 12:11-12) When we need it, the Lord pours Himself into us.
Thank You, Lord, for being so much more faithful than me. Thank You for being so much more powerful than me. Thanks for empowering Your will and for equipping the called. Thank You for being so gracious, and forgiving and gentle.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
But this must be God's will....
God's will is not always abundantly clear. Some things are obviously in His will (developing in our relationship with Him, loving our children, not struggling in sin, not struggling with the fear of man). Some things are not so clear. Some things are surprising as well. Some times God closes a door that was in our mind the "right" door. For example, I was fairly confident that a job with a particular company that shall remain nameless (thanks for the hook-up, Wade!) was the job. I was familiar with the processes, the products, a big company, etc. Then God closed the door and I was upset for a little while. I knew it was the right thing, especially since I specifically prayed that God would close the door if that was His will, but the rejection still stung a little bit (probably because of my pride).
My favorite Biblical example is the Gerasene demoniac in Mark 5. This is the guy who had a legion of demons within him, and Jesus healed him. Of course it would be right for the former demoniac to tag along with Jesus. It would help him to grow and develop and see how Jesus worked on a day-to-day basis. So the man implores Jesus to come along, but Jesus says "no". How could that be? How could it not have been better for him to be with Jesus in the flesh? Jesus tells him, "Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you." And the result of his obedience: "And he went away and began to proclaim in Decapolis what great things Jesus had done for him; and everyone was amazed." What seemed like obviously the right thing to do, ended up not being God's will.
God's will is always, always, always, always, and then always, and still always the best for us, whether we realize it or not. This is so hard in the moment when God gives us an inkling of His will (which He often does), and in our wisdom, we think we know what's best. I try to rationalize with God and make a case for what seems best to me, but His will is the best.
I have a co-worker who I really have a heart for. He is really a good guy, but that's by human standards. I do not think he knows the Lord personally. I am leaving Cat in two weeks and I want so much to sit him down and share my testimony and challenge him directly but feel God telling me no. Since God's will is always the best, I must just trust God. This is challenging, but since He's been right the last eleventy billionth times, I should have some assurance that He knows what He's doing.
My favorite Biblical example is the Gerasene demoniac in Mark 5. This is the guy who had a legion of demons within him, and Jesus healed him. Of course it would be right for the former demoniac to tag along with Jesus. It would help him to grow and develop and see how Jesus worked on a day-to-day basis. So the man implores Jesus to come along, but Jesus says "no". How could that be? How could it not have been better for him to be with Jesus in the flesh? Jesus tells him, "Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you." And the result of his obedience: "And he went away and began to proclaim in Decapolis what great things Jesus had done for him; and everyone was amazed." What seemed like obviously the right thing to do, ended up not being God's will.
God's will is always, always, always, always, and then always, and still always the best for us, whether we realize it or not. This is so hard in the moment when God gives us an inkling of His will (which He often does), and in our wisdom, we think we know what's best. I try to rationalize with God and make a case for what seems best to me, but His will is the best.
I have a co-worker who I really have a heart for. He is really a good guy, but that's by human standards. I do not think he knows the Lord personally. I am leaving Cat in two weeks and I want so much to sit him down and share my testimony and challenge him directly but feel God telling me no. Since God's will is always the best, I must just trust God. This is challenging, but since He's been right the last eleventy billionth times, I should have some assurance that He knows what He's doing.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Isaiah 55:1-2
"Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance." -Isaiah 55:1-2
My thoughts....
*Why do I spend money on what is not bread? Why do I desire stuff and gadgets and cars for pleasure? Not always. As of the last little while, not usually actually. Yet, my flesh is still hanging on. My flesh is still there. All it takes is the possibility of a new thing (e.g. in this case, a fancy schmancy cell phone), and all of a sudden my idol factory of a heart has found what it's always desired. How does the saying go... all men have a cell phone-shaped vacuum in their heart? We even spend money on things and go through tremendous lengths to try to satisfy, yet it doesn't.
*What is the Lord's plan then? "Listen carefully, eat what is good, then delight yourself in abundance."
My thoughts....
*Why do I spend money on what is not bread? Why do I desire stuff and gadgets and cars for pleasure? Not always. As of the last little while, not usually actually. Yet, my flesh is still hanging on. My flesh is still there. All it takes is the possibility of a new thing (e.g. in this case, a fancy schmancy cell phone), and all of a sudden my idol factory of a heart has found what it's always desired. How does the saying go... all men have a cell phone-shaped vacuum in their heart? We even spend money on things and go through tremendous lengths to try to satisfy, yet it doesn't.
*What is the Lord's plan then? "Listen carefully, eat what is good, then delight yourself in abundance."
- LISTEN. Listen CAREFULLY. Wow. That's not so easy these days. I'm a believer in the fact that there is nothing new under the sun. However, peace and quiet seems much less plentiful than a century ago. Cars, trains and planes, not to mention a myriad of potential distractions to eat up the silence. Why is it so hard to sit in my car without any music or messages or any noise (other than the creaking and groaning of my near-geriatric car)? We are going upstream in this world and unless we work to have some silence in order to be able listen, we're going to get bombarded by a lack of silence.... Listen carefully. What does that mean? I don't know but it sounds like something active. We can't listen carefully without some intentionality.
- EAT what is GOOD. We encounter things throughout the day, or "eat". We have to consume things in this world, whether it's love, joy, peace, gentleness and self-control, or it's gossip, malice, anger, selfishness, lasciviousness, hate, and discord. We just have to consume what is good. The problem is that the gossip, malice and anger are not wrapped in an ugly, tattered box with a tag labelled "bad", and that the love, joy, and peace is not wrapped with beautiful wrapping paper and shiny bows with a "good" tag. We must actively be discerning and listening to the Spirit. I have not found that the Spirit typically shouts in my ear. God's way is often clothed in uncertainty and comfort, and it's not always clear. However, when we humble ourselves at the Lord's feet and sincerely desire His will and not our own, He makes us know one way or another. He's a good God and is not the author of confusion. Though the path may not be extremely well lit, when He wants us to do something, and we are humbled before Him, He lets us know.
- Then we are to "delight ourselves in abundance." Only after we listen carefully and only select the Lord's choices can we truly delight ourselves. Ironically, when we choose the Lord's will for our lives, no matter how uncertain or unpleasant it may appear, it always turns out for the best. Always, and always, and then usually always. How He does it, I have no idea. But somehow in this vast tapestry of the body of Christ, he makes ways to pour out His blessings and accomplish His will (check out my w's (wife's) blog on the "Bingel 500"). Then truly we can delight ourselves in abundance. Perhaps (actually, likely) not in material abundance. Not in the stuff of this world, but in Himself. We can delight ourselves in Him. And He is glad to give us Himself. He fills us up to the point of overflow, and we can just simply delight ourselves in Him.... As a side note, I woke up dead tired this morning. Would have loved to get some extra sleep but the Lord told me to get up and spend time with Him. The Lord made sure I knew and I was hesitantly obedient. But ahhhh, the refreshment of the Word. I dove in and soaked it up. The Lord just poured out Himself in graciousness. He corrected me, but gently. He told me I was wrong and showed me the right way, that only He can satisfy my heart. So I am now still tired, but I am wholly satisfied, for free. So I got less sleep but my spirit is awake and refreshed. I am more awake with less sleep! The Lord is good and gracious and compassionate. He is good. Thank You, Lord. Thank You for being so gentle.
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