Broadripple and the last few weeks

The Lord is good, and He alone is faithful.  I am a wimp and a weakling, and I turn at the potential for discomfort and ridicule and shame, but God is powerful.  He goes out before us and works out every teeny little detail.

I went to Broadripple tonight and walked around for a while and handed out tracts.  I only talked to one guy, Douglas, who was a neat guy but needs a lot of prayer.  I definitely received ridicule and shame tonight.  For whatever reason, there was a lot of laughing at me and shaking of heads with scornful smirks.  I can't express how good it felt.  This has such a cleansing affect on us.  The average Christian (me included) is so enslaved to the fear of man that they are hardly willing to share their faith.  We hide behind "being an example", and "I'm just really loving on them", and "I'm just trying to be a light".  These are all things we should obviously do, but as far as this being our only witnessing method, it's not very biblical.

I don't say this smugly or with disdain (because I have the same struggle), but honestly think when the last time you were laughed at or persecuted for your beliefs?  I avoid these opportunities like the plague, yet when they come and I actually take them on with the Lord's help, it's so wonderful and cleansing.  The Lord uses these situations to forge our faith...

[10] "Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. [11] "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. [12] "Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.  -Matthew 5:10-12 (NASB)

Again, for my vast readership of two, please don't take this as judgment but take this as a challenge to be more bold in your faith.  We know the cure for the worst disease to ever strike the world, yet we don't share it because we are afraid of what others might think of us.  Those words are so repulsive that they're even hard to type.  The fact that I am so concerned with my well being that I am unwilling to intrude upon that to share the antidote with someone who has a spiritual disease they don't fully understand and has an eternally fatal prognosis.

Again, again, please don't take this as judgment.  If this post sounds like I'm criticizing you and it has a bit of a bite to it, please know this is only because I am the guiltiest of all.  I have known this good news for many years now and have been so fearful to share it.

I am reminded of a story about Hudson Taylor, the great missionary pioneer to China.  He had troubles in getting prepared and eventually getting over to China (hang ups with missionary boards and the like).  He met a man who was recently saved and his father had just passed away.  This man asked why no one had come earlier, even though they knew the good news for centuries, because never hearing the gospel, he believed his father was now in hell.  We have this good news and there are friends, family, neighbors and strangers who don't.

Tonight

Went to Broadripple tonight.  Was a very interesting night.  I had four lengthy conversations that took up the whole night. First with a guy who was very intoxicated but actually gave good witnessing advice.  Two high school guys who are trying to figure out how this all works.  A guy named Pepper who was arrested during our conversation (I would love to share more details but that's now what this is about).  And a guy at McDonalds.

I see God's sovereignty and people's stubbornness clearly right now.  God is in charge.  I am so thankful that I need not determine people's eternal fate.  There are so many people that are distracted with the world and think they know God but really don't.  They raised their hand in a church service as a kid and think they're covered; or were baptized at some point in their lives and think that gets them in; or go to church regularly; or (most commonly) I try to be really good and do things for others to the best of my ability.  Yet so often there is not a glimmer of godliness in their lives.  How do we deal with this, especially with those close to us?  God has made a way for each and every person to know Him, yet so may people deny Him.  Matthew 7 says "many" go to destruction and "few" go to heaven.  So most people you bump into on any given day are headed for hell.  This is difficult to meditate through, yet God is sovereign and just and fair.  No matter what happens in someone's life (e.g. growing up in the hood in a house with no heat and not knowing your dad, or they lose a loved one, or they just have it easy in life), we are all held accountable to the God of the universe, and He is a good and fair judge.  And I rest easy knowing that He has covered my sin and He is good.

Tonight: God is Faithful

About tonight in a minute, but first, a little blurb about this blog.  I like to teach and explain things and tell stories.  This blog is not about that.  This is about my personal ramblings with God.  So I may or may not share background to certain stories so things may or may not make total sense.  Please bear with me.

So, I went down to Broadripple tonight.  I specifically prayed that the Lord would put a burden for lost souls on my heart tonight (and forever).  He helped me by showing me a simple fact.  The eternality of it all.  That's not a word, but that's what's in my head.  The eternality of it all.  That forever, the lost will be in a Christ-less, painful, lonely, dark place.  Forever.  This is nothing new, the Lord just emblazoned it on my heart tonight.  As I passed by the front windows of bars, and saw people laughing and having a great time, my heart just sank.  They are enjoying the pleasures of this world for a short season, and trading it for a painful horrible eternity!  Eternity!  This might be the only God moment they have for years.  Totally heartbreaking. 

I did have a very encouraging conversation with a 19 year old couple.  They Lord just filled my mouth with words and I was able to share the whole gospel with them in a way that seemed to resonate with them.  Their names were George and Emily.  I came up to them as they were turning around from Noodles & Company because it had a gas leak.  If it wasn't for that, I would not have been able to share the gospel with them!  It astounds me how the Lord works through totally ordinary circumstances to bring about His will.  If it weren't for that gas leak, they'd have been inside when I came by.  Please pray for them.  They were open to the things of God.

All in all for tonight, I can easily say God is so faithful. He brings about His will in our lives.  My key prayer point for this year is faith.  He has used going down to Broadripple to accomplish this.  I had wanted to go down with others tonight, but I felt Him say to go alone.  I whined and cried internally about this for a few days, fearful to go down alone.  When I finally consented, He came alongside and encouraged me.  He kept me safe, allowed me to continue to develop relationships with two Starbucks baristas and Mason the parking guy (who hooks me up with free parking every time!), kept me calm and allowed me to clearly articulate the gospel to a young couple who is seeking answers, increased a burden for the lost, fought back the fear of man, and let me know His sovereignty even deeper.

It brings a new meaning to true, heartfelt worship when you see difficult things.  Spent some time with some inner city kids who live very rough lives today.  Had a couple from our church lose a few day old baby this past week.  Understanding even deeper the fact of the wide and narrow gate (that most will perish and go to hell for eternity).  Seeing Psalm 106:8 clearer (we have been saved for His sake).  Knowing some family members and/or friends will spend eternity in an intense, forever pain.  When these things are at the front of our minds, it's harder to just sing the church songs.  We must accept God's sovereignty and still praise Him even when we don't understand it all.

3rd Time in Broadripple

Went down to Broadripple tonight alone and walked around for a while talking to people and handing out tracts.  This was different than the previous two times.  But God is still teaching me a lot (maybe even more so in this)...

*He is SO faithful.  The Lord is so faithful.  Not only by answering our prayers (prayers for boldness in sharing, for deliverance of the fear of man, for safety, for courage, for faith) but by holding on so much tighter than we do.  I worry about slipping away some times, that my heart might grow cold, and I tend to get legalistic to "prevent" myself from doing so.  This is foolishness.  The Lord holds on to me so tight.  So when the darkness closes in, I can have confidence that He's holding on to me, not vice versa.

*God is broken-hearted for the lost.  It's not easy to talk to someone about their faith who thinks that you are a religious fanatic.  Yet we are to put on this same view as God's.  When we take a step towards that direction, He meets us there.  He grows this in us.

*Persecution.  Hearing snickers and having girls yell, "Thank you Jesus Christ man!" has an odd effect.  The Lord gives this gift to those who are willing to embrace it.  Yes, a gift.  Persecution has a wonderful cleansing effect, eliminating the fear of man and steeling our devotion to Him.  Per the Word, we will be blessed as well.  Entering where you know it will come, that's just a little hard.  It's easier to sit next to the fire and read my Bible and ask for depth of relationship with Him and greater faith.

*The blessing of the Spirit's power.  What an awesome blessing we receive when as weak human vessels, the Lord uses us!  He doesn't need to use us, but He does.  And He pours out His power on us.  It's a joy-filled experience to be used by God.  "When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” (Luke 12:11-12)  When we need it, the Lord pours Himself into us.


Thank You, Lord, for being so much more faithful than me.  Thank You for being so much more powerful than me.  Thanks for empowering Your will and for equipping the called.  Thank You for being so gracious, and forgiving and gentle.

But this must be God's will....

God's will is not always abundantly clear.  Some things are obviously in His will (developing in our relationship with Him, loving our children, not struggling in sin, not struggling with the fear of man).  Some things are not so clear.  Some things are surprising as well.  Some times God closes a door that was in our mind the "right" door.  For example, I was fairly confident that a job with a particular company that shall remain nameless (thanks for the hook-up, Wade!) was the job.  I was familiar with the processes, the products, a big company, etc.  Then God closed the door and I was upset for a little while.  I knew it was the right thing, especially since I specifically prayed that God would close the door if that was His will, but the rejection still stung a little bit (probably because of my pride). 

My favorite Biblical example is the Gerasene demoniac in Mark 5.  This is the guy who had a legion of demons within him, and Jesus healed him.  Of course it would be right for the former demoniac to tag along with Jesus.  It would help him to grow and develop and see how Jesus worked on a day-to-day basis.  So the man implores Jesus to come along, but Jesus says "no".  How could that be?  How could it not have been better for him to be with Jesus in the flesh?  Jesus tells him, "Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you."  And the result of his obedience: "And he went away and began to proclaim in Decapolis what great things Jesus had done for him; and everyone was amazed."  What seemed like obviously the right thing to do, ended up not being God's will.

God's will is always, always, always, always, and then always, and still always the best for us, whether we realize it or not.  This is so hard in the moment when God gives us an inkling of His will (which He often does), and in our wisdom, we think we know what's best.  I try to rationalize with God and make a case for what seems best to me, but His will is the best. 

I have a co-worker who I really have a heart for.  He is really a good guy, but that's by human standards.  I do not think he knows the Lord personally.  I am leaving Cat in two weeks and I want so much to sit him down and share my testimony and challenge him directly but feel God telling me no.  Since God's will is always the best, I must just trust God.  This is challenging, but since He's been right the last eleventy billionth times, I should have some assurance that He knows what He's doing.

Isaiah 55:1-2

"Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;  and you who have no money come, buy and eat.  Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.  Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy?  Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance."  -Isaiah 55:1-2

My thoughts....
*Why do I spend money on what is not bread?  Why do I desire stuff and gadgets and cars for pleasure?  Not always.  As of the last little while, not usually actually.  Yet, my flesh is still hanging on.  My flesh is still there.  All it takes is the possibility of a new thing (e.g. in this case, a fancy schmancy cell phone), and all of a sudden my idol factory of a heart has found what it's always desired.  How does the saying go... all men have a cell phone-shaped vacuum in their heart?  We even spend money on things and go through tremendous lengths to try to satisfy, yet it doesn't. 

*What is the Lord's plan then?  "Listen carefully, eat what is good, then delight yourself in abundance."

• LISTEN.  Listen CAREFULLY.  Wow.  That's not so easy these days.  I'm a believer in the fact that there is nothing new under the sun.  However, peace and quiet seems much less plentiful than a century ago.  Cars, trains and planes, not to mention a myriad of potential distractions to eat up the silence.  Why is it so hard to sit in my car without any music or messages or any noise (other than the creaking and groaning of my near-geriatric car)?  We are going upstream in this world and unless we work to have some silence in order to be able listen, we're going to get bombarded by a lack of silence.... Listen carefully.  What does that mean?  I don't know but it sounds like something active.  We can't listen carefully without some intentionality. 

• EAT what is GOOD.  We encounter things throughout the day, or "eat".  We have to consume things in this world, whether it's love, joy, peace, gentleness and self-control, or it's gossip, malice, anger, selfishness, lasciviousness, hate, and discord.  We just have to consume what is good.  The problem is that the gossip, malice and anger are not wrapped in an ugly, tattered box with a tag labelled "bad", and that the love, joy, and peace is not wrapped with beautiful wrapping paper and shiny bows with a "good" tag.  We must actively be discerning and listening to the Spirit.  I have not found that the Spirit typically shouts in my ear.  God's way is often clothed in uncertainty and comfort, and it's not always clear.  However, when we humble ourselves at the Lord's feet and sincerely desire His will and not our own, He makes us know one way or another.  He's a good God and is not the author of confusion.  Though the path may not be extremely well lit, when He wants us to do something, and we are humbled before Him, He lets us know.  

• Then we are to "delight ourselves in abundance."  Only after we listen carefully and only select the Lord's choices can we truly delight ourselves.  Ironically, when we choose the Lord's will for our lives, no matter how uncertain or unpleasant it may appear, it always turns out for the best.  Always, and always, and then usually always.  How He does it, I have no idea.  But somehow in this vast tapestry of the body of Christ, he makes ways to pour out His blessings and accomplish His will (check out my w's (wife's) blog on the "Bingel 500").  Then truly we can delight ourselves in abundance.  Perhaps (actually, likely) not in material abundance.  Not in the stuff of this world, but in Himself.  We can delight ourselves in Him.  And He is glad to give us Himself.  He fills us up to the point of overflow, and we can just simply delight ourselves in Him....  As a side note, I woke up dead tired this morning.  Would have loved to get some extra sleep but the Lord told me to get up and spend time with Him.  The Lord made sure I knew and I was hesitantly obedient.  But ahhhh, the refreshment of the Word.  I dove in and soaked it up.  The Lord just poured out Himself in graciousness.  He corrected me, but gently.  He told me I was wrong and showed me the right way, that only He can satisfy my heart.  So I am now still tired, but I am wholly satisfied, for free.  So I got less sleep but my spirit is awake and refreshed.  I am more awake with less sleep!  The Lord is good and gracious and compassionate.  He is good.  Thank You, Lord.  Thank You for being so gentle.

2nd Time Street Evangelizing

Went street evangelizing in Broadripple with 8 other people tonight.  Mostly with Tom Miyakawa and his son, Evan.  My thoughts....


* Humbling.  At one point, Evan and I went around passing out cards.  He and I went together because I was the "adult".  Hah.  Such irony.  He's a sophomore in high school.  I'm a sophomore parent.  You would think I would be the one to have it all together, especially since I have memorized a lot of verses and listened to a lot of sermons.  Hah.  He's a stud.  240 lbs, 6' 4'', middle linebacker with a full beard?  Not exactly.  More like 5' 6", 140 lbs, left defender on his soccer team.  Major stud.  The young man loves the Lord with all his heart.  He's mature way beyond his years.  He knows the Word.  He walks it out.  He goes out regularly to do contact evangelism, not to mention walking his faith out on a day-to-day basis.  I am envious.  Envious of his unashamed love for the Lord, his lack of fear of man, his passion to serve the Lord.  Especially his lack of fear of man.  He doesn't fear man because he loves his Lord and worships the only holy God.

* Testing.  Heard a guy talking with the barista at Starbucks about the Bible while I was talking with someone else.  I really did not want to, but the Lord prompted me to talk to him.  I went up afterward and tried to probe into his questions but he was very uninterested in talking.  Since we were up near the bar, the barista threatened to call the cops on me.  The first time in a while.  I apologized profusely and mentioned I was merely trying to encourage the man's faith.  So I left.  My spirit was troubled though.  A mingling of the fear of man and feeling like I did something wrong or against the rules.  We went back to Starbucks to warm up and again apologized to the barista and I discovered the man I was trying to talk to had some major mental disorders and has had fits of screaming obscenities and the barista was just trying to avoid that.  I then talked to the barista for about 15 minutes.  I planted some seeds.

* Learning.  I am learning a lot about sharing my faith.  Contact evangelism is not primarily aimed at drilling the gospel into everyone's soul.  As Tom Miyakawa says, "People are where they are."  He demonstrates this fact by explaining a story from a few months ago.  He chatted with a guy on the street who was selling some stuff.  Tom asked him if he ever thought about what happens when we die, he said now.  He then asked him if he ever thought about God, the man said no.  At this point, Tom realized that this guy is probably not going to commit his life to Christ at that moment.  So he just tried to plant some seeds.  The next people he went up to was a group of a few people.  Tom asked if there was anything he could pray for.  One guy said yes, that he knew he needed to pray for salvation.  Then one of his friend did the same.  People are where they are.  The primary goal of contact evangelism is to "move the peg".  That may mean ushering in someone to salvation.  That may mean getting someone to think about God.  Tom also mentioned some fact that it takes an average of 7.2 gospel presentations before someone might accept.  The average is not one, but the average is not 100. 

I also learned it's easier as you go.  While I put my full faith in the Holy Spirit to give me the words in the moment, I also need to practice.  I can't use tools that are not in my toolbox.  The Lord can supernaturally at times provide tools, but often times works through means.  There are no world renowned violin players who woke up one day and became world renowned violin players.  God certainly gifts some to be musical and some to not be, but He often works through the means.  For example, He maybe gets that world renowned violin player to meet lots of people and learn discipline and perseverance through the years and years of practice.  Not sure I'm making much sense at this hour, but my point is that the Lord will gift me in evangelizing as I practice.  He's a good Father and will guide me along the way.